You hold me (touch me taste me breathe me) and- no. that's not right. this is an open letter in the third person. they remember now. the drugs the drugs and lose herself and she didn't think she wanted to be found something strange in there something wrong that was always there and still is burning them away with her memories. he was soft. he had to be. a gentle caring rapist. she watched from elsewhere. there was nothing to feel. nothing at all, used to feel nothing at all, used to feel used to feel used "hit me", she said, later, "leave a mark". so she knew it was real, so she knew it had happened, because she forgot watching it happen to him. the memory haunts them, the trance and the confusion. the pain was in her head, but they need it to be real. they still have the scars. they remembered. everything.