You hold me (touch me taste me breathe me) and I saw your eyes smile more than mine ever could, fingers on my lips took my breath away make you gasp touch you above your hips and you squirmed, come and dance with me and the world is gone, alone with you bodies twist together hold you hold me in your, my, our sleeping softly you are so beautiful tranquil calm tired-happy the world is harsh and bright and hurts my eyes where the fuck am i who the fuck am i? I remember your face so vividly, I am vacant smoking a cigarette I've forgotten how to feel how am i supposed to feel i don't know it feels strange like every other broken have i forgotten how to feel? you drift away from me I am trapped in a prison of pills I can't get out I can't stay with you and we are fading away... I hurt myself... I kill my Self... i breathe sickly sweet sedation through my body breaking apart lost too much weight too gaunt too pale living on the edge living on cigarettes and coffee and can't keep this up falling apart help me falling down fuck drowning in wine and choking on pills where are you? I've lost you, self destruction has a destination...how close am I now?